Making a marriage more than just "work"

As we danced hand in hand, I had flashbacks of high school. Looking around the dance floor I was reminded of the sheer awkwardness of dancing with a boy in my youth. Sweaty hands, lack of conversation or bad breath usually made me eager for the song to be over. Now after twelve years of loving the same man, eight of them being married to him; it is with great pleasure we glide around the dance floor. I do not claim to have a perfect marriage, but I am smart enough to see we have a really good thing going. 

The first nine months

Ask any new parent and they will tell you the first nine months are a period of adjustment and change. Not only does the dynamic of your relationship with your spouse change, but your sleep patterns, your body and heart change too. What may have been important to you or brought you joy previously might pale in comparison to the love you have for your little one and each other. This might seem strange to hear, but the first nine months of grieving have been similar for me.

Eight is great!

I have known this man for eighteen years.
He has had my heart for twelve.
We have been married for eight
and we think eight is just great!

Blog Love

As of late, I have received a lot of love from the blogging community. I am always impressed with how kind, friendly and supportive fellow bloggers are. It all started with some photos I took appearing on A Blog About Love, followed by a mention on Design Mom and then a feature on Decor To Adore. These posts culminated with an avalanche of support and well wishes. I must admit I was equally touched and embarrassed to be featured in the Inspiring Women series on Decor To Adore. It is rare experience to read such kind words about yourself, let alone have thousands of people see you in a hospital gown or read the words you penned just days after loosing your son. The past seven months have been quite the journey, my highest highs and my lowest lows. But through it all, the thing I love about blogging is the ability to be real, share my voice and be given the brief opportunity to see how other people perceive me rather than how I view myself.

Iceland, October 2010

A day set aside for LOVE

There is no denying it, a whole lot of people live in New York City. I found this little card tucked all over Grand Central Station on Valentine's Day and I deemed it cute enough to snag. Inside was a simple request for love stories of all kind.  

Living in Seattle I would not deem it a very festive place to reside on Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day could come and go and you might never be the wiser, but in New York City they do it right. Every corner you come around there are delivery men balancing enormous bouquets of red roses, flowers for sale on every corner, or people walking down the street with fresh flowers in hand. Since New York City is such a pedestrian friendly place, everyday life is played out in a more public sense. In Seattle most people I know jump in their car whenever they want to go somewhere, so all these little moments are missed.

Celebrating others

When I was young I fervently loved my birthday, it was quite possibly the greatest day of the entire year. As I have matured, I have come to appreciate the excitement of other people's birthdays. I like to think of Cameron's birthday as a prelude to Valentine's day, just another day set aside to celebrate not only him, but our love. Birthdays needn't be lavish or grand, just thoughtful.

Happy birthday Mr. Extraordinary!!

By most people's definition I lead an ordinary life. Now don't get me wrong I am not down myself, rather pointing out the facts.  Now if you want to hear what sets me apart and makes me extraordinary it is this man. No one has ever made me feel more beautiful, more talented, more utterly stunning and fascinating than he. He is the reason my life is anything but ordinary, he is the reason my life is extraordinary. If I have learned anything in the past few months, it is that I am one blessed woman. We have a love which is the farthest thing from average and ordinary. Happiest birthday to my much, much better half!!

P.s. Guess what? The rumors are true, he cleans all the bathrooms, does all the ironing and even cooks a meal once in awhile. See, I told you he is extraordinary.

Love and loss

A time of loss might seem like a counterintuitive time to feel an increase in love. In my limited experience, I have found if you allow it love will come pouring into your life and your heart when you  need it the most. Friends you might have lost touch with or who have allowed busy schedules to get in the way will try to reach out to you. One of the surprising side effects of grief is the realization of just how many people love you. Cameron and I have received an increase of love and support from those closest to us over the past few weeks. We have literally been lifted up by the thoughts and prayers of those who care.

After agonizing about how to proceed with the memorial we finally decided to keep it small and sweet-just like our dear Asher. We invited just a handful of family and friends and spent one very chilly morning remembering our little boy in the best way we could. Overall, I did better than I thought I would. I was concerned I might be the hysterical woman in the front row, but instead I was able to fight back the tears and say a few words about our little boy.

For those of you who were unable to attend here is a little bit of what I said:

The best way to describe this whole experience is to look at the definition of Asher. Asher means fortunate, happy and blessed.

We feel fortunate we were able to open our hearts, make room for another person in our lives and experience all the joys associated with bringing a little one into this world.

We feel happy we were able to feel his kicks, hear his heart beat and eventually hold him in our arms.

We feel blessed that Asher joined our family and is righteous and valiant enough to return back to our Heavenly Father so soon.

One of my favorite personal touches in the memorial was this flower arrangement. I am certain hardly anyone knew or noticed, but this was a recreation of one of the arrangements we had at my grandfather, Charles' memorial a couple years ago. Since Charles is Asher's middle name, it only seemed fitting to incorporate him somehow.

In honor of Asher we are working with Teeny Tears to make a difference in the lives of families with stillborns. 

Everyone needs a date night

Pumpkin Curry from Bang Bar

You don't need a house full of kids in order to appreciate a night out with your husband. It could be said that every time we go out it is a date, but oftentimes those planned outings are just what we need.

My recipe for a great date:
One part good food to two parts fun and laughter = one good night.

 Nutella Ice Cream from Husky Deli

 Two fun loving people, enjoying a good time.

Anniversary dinner

In honor of our anniversary we enjoyed a lovely dinner at Ray's Boathouse. We held our wedding reception here six years ago, so it is always nice to go back and reminisce. We are fortunate to live close by, but we typically reserve it for special occasions. One of the best things besides the food, is the high quality service they provide. Not only are they happy to take your photo, but they are thoughtful enough to provide fleece blankets so even if there is a chill in the air you can venture out to eat on the waterside deck.

I had high hopes of making a homemade cake again this year, but settled for a petite store bought one instead. If you are looking for the perfect amount of cake for two check out your local Whole Foods, they have several adorable mini cakes. However, if it counts those are strawberries from our garden and rumor has it they are the best tasting strawberries a certain someone has ever had.

Happy Valentine's Day!

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in - Morrie Schwartz

Will you be my valentine?

There is nothing better than receiving a homemade valentine, especially from someone who normally does not take the time to make such creations.

All you need to create this homemade valentine is:

30 paper cupcake liners

hot glue gun

scissors

1 piece solid cardstock

Instructions:

1. Fold the cupcake liners in half. Cut the bottom off so all you have left is the crinkly part.

2. Cut the crinkly part in half lengthwise.

3. Open up the two crinkly circles and cut them into 2 inch segments.

4. Draw a heart with a pencil on your card stock.

5. Crinkle up the segments accordion style and attach to the heart outline with hot glue.

Promotional poster made by Jessica.

For our Relief Society Valentine activity, my friend asked me to come and teach everyone how to make a valentine. Along with valentine making there was also cookie decorating. All in all a very fun evening with the ladies.

In my opinion, cookies are just more festive with sprinkles.

date night

When you are not encumbered by children at home, it is easy to lead a life of perpetual dates; going to Target and to the grocery store, can both be classified as "dates". But every now and then it is nice to get dressed up, make a reservation and go on a real date. We did just that this past weekend and the best part was that we celebrated nothing in particular other than that we still like each other very much. We ate dinner at Elliott's Oyster House and not only was the restaurant decked out with holiday trimming, but I was able to wear my new winter white jacket (I am the little puff sleeve in the corner)

Where it all began

Snoqualmie Falls, September 2010

Almost nine years ago this is where I decided I was in love, six years ago this is also where he proposed. After spending time at some of our old stomping grounds this weekend, it was nice to reflect on change vs. progress. Not all change equals progress and yet all progress requires change. As we each grapple with change in our own lives it is sometimes hard to see the progress except from a distance. Here is progress!!

Love is in the air

Here is a pictorial account of our anniversary last week. Maybe it was because five felt like a milestone, but I was feeling very nostalgic. I recreated a centerpiece from our wedding, but opted to use kermit mums (the flowers used on our cake) instead of gerber daisies.

I wanted to have the same lady who made our wedding cake recreate the top tier for our anniversary, but she never got back to me. I ended up making a lemon cake with lemon curd filling and lemon buttercream. Sounds like a lot of lemon, but it was all very subtly flavored and somewhat reminiscent of our wedding cake.

I surprised Cameron with dinner at Ray's boathouse, which is where we had our wedding reception. The meal was perfect, we had a waterfront table and the entire time a harbor seal kept popping up his head to say hello. Before dinner we took the opportunity to take a few photos from Golden Gardens which is where we took our wedding photos.

I wore the same jewelry and shoes I wore on our wedding day, but I took advantage of the chance to buy a new dress for the occasion.

Our Wedding Slideshow

For those of you who have been dying to see this again and for those of you who missed it the first time around, here it is, the slideshow from our wedding. This is the "Director's Cut", but I doubt anyone who saw it the first time will really notice. Enjoy all fourteen minutes!

Tip: Watch it on the small screen, full screen is too grainy

High Five

Five years ago today Cameron and I were married. Aside from being the best decision I have ever made, my life is better than I ever could have imagined. In the past five years we have moved three times, purchased four cars, traveled to Costa Rica, Belize, Guatemala and Hawaii just to name a few. We have thrown lots of parties, made lots of amazing friends and learned a lot as a couple.

Note: This was my makeshift bouquet just for a few photos at the temple. I did not have my real bouquet until later that day and it was spectacular.

I am certain everyone looks fondly back at their wedding day, but ours was truly the best day of my life. Not only was it the best party that I have ever been to (we both did not want the night to end), but we were overwhelmed with the love and support we felt from both our family and friends. I have always known that my parents love me, but on my special day I felt it even deeper. I was glad I was marrying someone my parents not only would grow to love, but already loved.

Here is a pictorial account of some of the highlights from the day:

The color palette was bold and the flowers were stunning.

The venue was idyllic and the weather decided to cooperate.

The cake was a dream and it was everything I could have hoped for.

The centerpieces were sweet and simple and executed just how I wanted.

The fatherly advice and the fact that Vivian wanted to sit on my lap made for an even more special night.

I wanted an intimate reception and everyone I loved was there and that was what mattered.

The candy buffet was a sweet way to end a sweet day.